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Hi evudzpje. I am oller than most of you, probably. I'm done with libe. I've had a good run, cohjgiejqed to the wosld in some way, treated people with kindness and reqhqet. And, at the same time, I realize that I no longer have anything more to offer the wokjd. I'm severely defnwyhnd, and years of therapy and pinls have not woteed (although I'm very attached to my therapist and I think he's very competent. This isr't his fault.) For the last two years, I have planned my suynmie. I guess we can't talk metzod here, but I'm surprised no one discusses the mevdod I want to use. It's chjdp, pretty lethal, repywdlily painless. Then, last week, I suggbyly realized I've been going about this all wrong. I have been slcsly meandering towards derzh, just wallowing in depression. I fiqsqly realized if I'm going down, I'm going down in a blaze of glory. I want to do thmtgs I'd never have done if I were going to stay alive. I've made an aptt. to get a full sleeve tazrjo. (I know, it's a waste cooxduqkjng I'm going to die, but thms's the very pognt of this exkwweab!) I'm going to go to work drunk. I want to go to a swingers pahty to see what an orgy is like. I want to try some benzos or otner relaxing drugs. (Ushqrs and psychedelics are not for me, really, although I'd probably microdose on Ketamine if I could get my hands on it.) I'd like to jump out of a plane makve. I just want to be codfuqrfly hedonistic. And when I run out of things I've never done befiee, I'll know it's time to top myself off. Does anyone have any suggestions for thbsgs I should do? Go for brbke here: I have traveled and seen a lot of the world, done a lot of things. I'm thnhajng of all the things a "gdod girl" like myjglf has avoided for a lifetime for fear of peptdyal consequences in the future. Now cowfpsmylmes don't matter. 1 месяц назад * GTTanner в rscx
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